The Friendzone can be bypassed: Either you can create clear conditions in dating right from the start, which keep you from the Friendzone or you can change a friendship so that it can become a relationship.
The term friendzone or friendship zone applies when one wishes more in a platonic friendship than the other. By “more” is meant a romantic or sexual relationship. The other person does not feel that desire. The one who wants more, is thereby in the so-called Friendzone. This phenomenon is so common that MTV even aired a series titled “Friendzone,” in which mostly male participants in their “best friend” confess their love.
There are different types of a friendzone. For example, you may suddenly develop feelings for a person you have long been friends with and you do not know how to get out of your role as a friend. It may also happen that you have a date and realize that it is more friendly than romantic. In such a case, you can prevent the Friendzone and make it clear soon enough that you have no friendly intentions.
What types of friendzones are there?
First of all, many use the Friendzone as an excuse when they are not interested in anyone. In this case, the sentence “Can not we just be friends?” Acts as a message for “I can not imagine anything with you.” To give this variant a basket is still relatively mild, because it raises hope for friendship. Even if you are really interested in this person, you should be aware that your chances, even if you are a great friend, will not necessarily improve. We now inform you about the two most common forms of the Friendzone. In our tips, you will learn to exhaust your potential and reduce your chances of getting a basket.
From date to a friend:
This type of Friendzone begins with sexual or romantic interest, but ends in a platonic friendship. This problem occurs when you have a few dates, you understand each other well, but missed the moment to build physical closeness. At some point, the air is out and from the initial exciting crackling has become familiar. If you suddenly realize that you did not really want it that way, it might already be too late and the phrase “Can not we just be friends?” Will banish you to the Friendzone.
The best friend
This kind of friendzone is especially bitter for the part who wants more. Often it is men who are in this position and do not know how to ever get out of it. Either they thought the girl was great before and made friends with her because they hoped it could “someday become more” or at some point in the friendship something has changed and just being the best friend is not enough anymore.
The complicated thing about friendships between a woman and a man
In principle, a pure friendship is possible. However, there are many disruptive factors that make a friendship between a man and a woman more difficult than with same-sex friendships. The fact that you know each other so well and spend a lot of time together, you have in any way feelings for each other anyway. Whether these feelings are romantic or sexual will sooner or later show.
For example, a key factor in pure friendship is that men and women have different demands for friendships. A 2010 review by J.A. Hall found that women value trust, loyalty, self-openness and togetherness more than men.
So while women share a lot with their loved ones and often treat them warmly, men are usually more reserved.
So women have much higher expectations of their friends.
Men are more relaxed.
Already this basic attitude leads to much conflict potential. Disappointments are inevitable: Either the man does not meet the friendly expectations or he gives everything, develops a special bond with the woman and hopes for more. The female friendship behavior shows little difference to the behavior in a relationship. For this reason many men find it difficult to distinguish between friendship and love.
3 Essential Tips: How to Avoid the Friendzone in Dating
If you want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend and are in the dating phase, there is a lot to consider. In order not to accidentally end up in the Friendzone after the first date, you should pay attention to certain aspects that clearly convey that you have no friendly intentions. Of course, it’s nice if you get along well, and the partner should always be a good friend in a way. But especially with the first dates it is important to send clear signals. The friendship can be deepen even when the fronts are cleared. We’ll show you what to pay attention to if you do not want to be freezoned.
The first impression counts: Dress up!
If you teach at the beginning of the date that it is a day like any other for you, your chances are probably not so good. Brush yourself out and show your date that you’ve been thinking. Always style yourself a little more than you would for a meeting with a good friend. Of course, you should still feel well and be yourself, but make sure you are well-groomed to qualify for a sexual relationship.
Classic role behavior
In order to be interested in your date, or lack of interest in a friendship, you are allowed to behave according to classical roles. Even if you do not think much of it and are modern and emancipated, it can certainly help build sexual tension if you add to that role a bit. Although this is also about clichéd dating conventions, it is thanks to human nature and our gender-specific way of thinking in particular that we jump to certain patterns of behavior that protect us from the Friendzone. We have some examples for you:
As a man:
Take the lead:
Is it about choosing the location for the first date? Take the lead and suggest something concrete instead of asking her to decide. If you are particularly brave, you pick her up and surprise her. Likewise, it makes a self-assured impression when you ask for specific dates for a date, instead of leaving the question open in the room.
The first kiss:
When you realize that the right time has come and you should kiss, take the first step. Most women want to be conquered and enjoy not having to show themselves when they are interested. If you do not kiss them at this moment or even miss some of those moments, you run the risk of being zipped free.
Pay on the first date:
It may sound old-fashioned, but if you pay for both of them on the first date, you’ll give a clear message. Not only do you show her that you’re a gentleman, but you also make her feel that your date was clearly not friendly.
As a woman:
Make yourself interesting:
A little tactics can help you bypass the friendzone. If you do not disclose everything directly to yourself and you hold back a little in your stories, you’re making yourself interesting. The man has such an incentive to want to get to know you even better. The suspense is maintained and his hunting instinct is addressed. If you give him the impression that he knows you very well after a date and you can trust each other directly blind, that is a nice thing, but also a cornerstone for a direct friendship without romance.
Let him pay:
If he wants to pay, let him pay. If you insist on paying yourself, you might get the impression that you did not like the date or you do not think it was a date at all. Let him enjoy his role as patron and join you for this moment. This tip is especially true for the first date. Of course, the man does not always have to pay.
Flirting is the alpha and omega if mood is to set on a date. If you flirt charming and clear, you reduce the chance to be zoned. There are many things to keep in mind and flirting wants to be learned. Here are two of the most important flirt factors for you. Here you can learn more about flirting.
To avoid the Friendzone: Create body contact
Whether man or woman: Body contact in dating is a good way to avoid the Friendzone. Even if the first date should not kiss, body language is a good way to express non-friendly intentions. Of course, this should always be subtle and tactful. For example, if you laugh together, you could easily touch it by the arm or by the hand, or if you go anywhere together, you could easily touch it at the shoulder or waist. These little signals create a romantic mood and dispel any friendzone vibrations.